Friday, January 7, 2011

How to Argue


          Today’s devotionals were short since I just had Proverbs 17 and Psalms 17 to read today, but there is always something that hits me when I am reading and today is no different.  While reading Proverbs I came across this verse,

Proverbs 17:14 Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam;
so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

          Now before really accepting God into my life I would really get into some heated arguments with my wife.  Since accepting Christ and letting Him have control over my life I would love to say they are gone, but they are much less intense and less frequent.  Obviously I still have some growing to do in this area and that is why reading passages like this one convict me and help me to grow.  I know that there are times also that we hold things in to avoid those arguments because we hate to fight and the next passage covers that as well as the times we like to fight things out.

Proverbs 17:19 Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin;
whoever builds a high gate invites destruction.

          Holding things in or building walls as this passage alludes to will invite destruction.  The more you hold things in the bigger the explosion is going to be when you finally do let it out.  So how are we supposed to discuss things that bother us or that we need to correct before it gets to far out of hand?  We can find the answer to that in Proverbs as well.

Proverbs 17:27 The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint,
and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.

When we get into arguments it usually can be boiled down to a selfish desire on one or both parties, because they just want their way to be seen.  So in order to discus things in a civil manner through knowledge we choose our words carefully.  Also through understanding of the other person’s point of view we can maintain an even temper.  That is a big key to any heated debate.  We have employed this with our boys and it really works well.  If you can keep your temper under control and not raise your voice while the other person is going off it is amazing how much that effects the one that is arguing with you once they see they have lost it and you are still keeping your cool. 

No comments:

Post a Comment